Added: Reanne Moors - Date: 08.02.2022 15:01 - Views: 46751 - Clicks: 5044
Many couples have at their core a deep and abiding friendship. According to psychologist and researcher Dr. John Gottmanhaving a strong friendship is one of the most important traits that makes a marriage fulfilling and lasting.
Quality relationships outside the marriage are also key for a rich and fulfilling life. But when those relationships cross boundaries and become inappropriate, a marriage can quickly be turned upside down and torn inside out. Couples can benefit from constructing clear boundaries to protect their marriage. In my own life I have the joy of celebrating 28 years of marriage.
I can say my husband is my best friend. Early on in our marriage we began the practice of exercising healthy boundaries with our friendships, specifically those friendships with people of the opposite gender. We made a list of clear lines of demarcation in other relationships, as we never want to compromise our marriage. Contrary to what many believe, not all affairs are due to a troubled marriage or a lack of love between spouses. Attached seeking friendship loving marriage and good friendships can coexist if you are careful and cognizant of not crossing emotional and physical boundaries.
From there they may transition into physical affairs, creating havoc and turmoil when they are exposed. Infidelity often starts out simply in workplace relationships, platonic friendships, or community acquaintances. Generally, they happen without premeditation.
It is when people start to cross boundaries of emotional intimacysharing information which should only be discussed with their spouse, that trouble begins. When emotional boundaries are crossed, it gradually le to more and more intimate communication being shared. If left unchecked, this will most likely lead to sexual infidelity and most assuredly violate the security of the marriage.
If you disagreed with all these statements, then most likely you are not having an emotional affair. If you agreed with most of these questions, then you may be involved in an emotional affair. If you are having an emotional affair, you may be jeopardizing your marriage. It may be a good idea to put an end to that friendship. If this is a work colleague or someone you must see on a regular basis, you Attached seeking friendship want to consider putting up some strong boundaries starting now.
If you desire to preserve your marriage, you may want to seek out the support of a therapist to help you process your feelings and hold you able.
In my practice I often find couples get caught up in careers, raising children, or caring for elderly parents. All these commitments can cause people to lose sight of their marriage or spouse. Healing the marriage is often just a matter of not taking our spouse for granted and making sure we stay emotionally connected to our partner. Glass, S. All rights reserved.
The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. When we broke up she said nothing to do with him but then 1 month later they were together. Watch out for this. I dream of having a partner who freely has friendships of all types and degrees of closeness—with people of all genders—and I wish the same for the author and all the readers of this article.
We Attached seeking friendship real, live human beings. I am married woman and I fell in love with a married man. We were acquaintances for a year when we finally acknowledged we had feelings for one another. None of the garbage listed on this website applies — we were NOT complaining to one another about our respective spouses, but we knew we had found something special in one another, and that if we had just met earlier, we would have been together.
But not a marriage. I recommend listening to Glennon Doyle and Esther Perel for a more modern take on relationships. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy. Get Listed. Setting Boundaries with Friends In my own life I have the joy of celebrating 28 years of marriage. How can you tell if you or your spouse are in the danger zone with your other friendships? When talking to your Attached seeking friendship, you share negative thoughts or feelings that you have toward your spouse. When talking to your friend, you share intimate details about your life, more so than with your spouse.
You do not share the extent of your friendship with your spouse. Your spouse does not know about your relationship with your friend. You would feel uncomfortable if your spouse were to listen in on the conversations you have with your friend. You find yourself thinking about your friend more than you know you should be. You look forward to being with your friend more so than with your spouse. You meet your friend alone for coffee or meals without your spouse knowing about it.
You feel a sexual tension or attraction when you are with your friend. You and your friend are discussing the sexual tension you are both feeling in the friendship. When you and your friend are alone, you interact differently than when other people are around. You find yourself regularly looking forward to meeting with your friend. You are in love with your friend.
Ending an Emotional Affair If you are having an emotional affair, you may be jeopardizing your marriage. Reference: Glass, S. Permission to publish granted by Angela Biano, PhDtherapist in Palos Verdes Peninsula, California The preceding article was solely written by the author named above.
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